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It’s between the baseball field and the golf course

I got lost yesterday. I was late. I was embarrassed. It felt like the first day I set foot on the college campus I graduated from.

Here’s a litte back history about me: I’m from a small town and growing up I never really went past the west side of the bigger city just outside of town. If I had to drive to the east side, I always expected to get lost. And, normally, did. And, driving downtown, forget it. First time I went downtown, I drove the wrong way on a one-way street.

So, back to getting lost yesterday… I was scheduled to attend a class for work: Why Women go to bathroom in groups, and what they talk about while they’re in there. This class was located on the campus I graduated from. I took classes there for 3 years. I had this. No way would I get lost… right?

It had been almost 10 years since I graduated college, but I could find one simple building. They provided a map with the paperwork. Check-in was at 8:00 AM, class start time was 8:30 AM.

Let’s just re-live this, shall we?

I pull into the campus at 7:50 AM, park in the lot by the baseball field, right where I think I should be, wait a couple minutes, then get out. Hmm, now I’m confused, which direction is the building? Maybe if I just keep walking I’ll see a building I remember.

Nope, shoot, nothing really seems familiar. Funny how you forget things when it’s been 10 years.

I check out the name of the first building I see, then I check out the map. Hmmm,  it’s not really close by the building where it shows the class is. Maybe if I keep walking. Or, maybe if I call Danielle, it’s getting closer to check-in, like two minutes till. I hate being late.

“Yeah, I think you’re in the wrong place.”

“I’ll call you back, I’ll just ask someone where I am.”

The first three people I stop tell me they have no idea where the building is I’m looking for. Finally, one guy knows, and I am, indeed, in the wrong place. At this point, I am five minutes from my car, and that’s at walking pace, so I start jogging. Ugh.

I got this. I think I know where to go, I mean a guy just told me exactly what to do. I slide into my car and take off. I’m stressed, I look at my clock, it’s after 8 AM. I’m late.

I pull into another lot and park. I immediately see a lady, she, of course, has no idea where the building is either. Geez, people! Don’t you go to school here?!

But, wait, there’s another girl, she smiles and loudly says, “I’m awesome at reading this map! But, I don’t really know where that building is. Um, shoot.” Okay, uh, thanks, I’ll just ask this guy here…

He smiles and says, “Do you know where the baseball field is?” Um… “The golf course?” Um… “The place you need to go is right between those two.”

What!? I didn’t do sports, nor watch them.

He instructs me to follow this road, yes, this one right here, stay on it, all the way around, then turn right.

Alright, I can do that.

I’m sure he sensing my tension. I thank him and run, yes, run, to my car. My jeans are falling down and my shoes are clearly not meant for running. But, I do it anyway. I look like an idiot, but I don’t care, I have to find this classroom before 8:30!

I almost start crying, jump in my car and start driving to my THIRD parking lot.

Finally, I see a familiar car, I think. I throw the car in park, barrel out and step into some awesome zero-degree inter-femoral spread speed walking (presentation of the pits, was at a minimum), right toward the first building I see. There it is, it’s the name of the building, just like the map showed. Oh, and there’s a sign! It’s pointing me in the direction of the class. I almost start crying again, this time out of relief. Surely I can’t get lost anymore.

Hm, this door is weird, I’ll just try it. I end up in the classroom and see four of my coworkers. My face is flushed from embarrassment, stress and, of course, the running. It’s 8:15 AM and I check-in, only to realize I entered the building the back way. Sheesh!

I hate getting lost. But, it’s a good thing I’m a woman and I’m not afraid to ask someone for directions.

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January 26, 2012


Five Ingredient Spaghetti Tomato Alfredo

My sister was telling me how she made an awesome and easy fettuccine alfredo, with a jarred alfredo. Ew, I’ve never really been a big fan of jarred alfredo sauces, but my sister is an unbelievable baker, so I knew I had to take her word for it.

Her meal was actually only three ingredients (fettuccine, jarred alfredo sauce and red sauce). She swore to me if you add a red sauce to it, it makes an average jarred alfredo amazing. Alright, we’ll just see here.

However, I wanted to add a veggie and meat into mine; so, five ingredient tomato alfredo, it became.

Wanna know what I used?

Five Ingredient Tomato Alfredo
1/2 (16 oz.) box Great Value angel hair pasta
1 (16 oz.) jar of Great Value classic style alfredo sauce
1 (14 oz.) jar of Great Value pizza sauce
1 cup of frozen peas
1/2 (16 oz) package sliced deli honey ham

Cook pasta according to box directions, or your preference. I like my pasta just a bit past al dente, so I keep it a bit longer than the box says. I always taste it, there’s nothing worse, to me, than hard pasta. While your pasta is cooking, chop up your ham and saute (hm, is this sauteing if you’re not adding oil? cook?) in pan over medium heat, until heated through. Right before your pasta is finished cooking, dump in the frozen peas. Let cook until pasta finishes. Drain pasta and peas. Pour back into pan and add alfredo sauce, pizza sauce and ham. Stir and enjoy.

Posted in eat.

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January 25, 2012


Dear Girl Scout

Dear Girl Scout who came to my door,

Your annoying friend who came with you lost you some good business when he rang the doorbell SIX times and then immediately pounded on the glass window next to the door.

I thought for sure there was a policeman standing out there trying to bust throug the door. Yet, it was just a dumb kid standing there laughing when I peeked, a little uncertain of who I might see, through the curtain.

If you have to apologize for him being “extra crazy,” when I answer the door, don’t let him tag along!

Yours truly,
Always a girl scout cookie buyer

PS, I totally meant to glare at him when I told you I wasn’t interested. He was definitely old enough to know better.

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Guess I’ll have to buy from the second Girl Scout to come to my door. This is not how I normally roll.

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January 22, 2012


Um

I’ve been thinking about this all day and I just don’t know how to say it. Truth is, i just don’t know what to say. I’m definitely having bloggers block.

And, I just hit publish, mid post. Um, maybe I oughta call it a day?

January, you aren’t my month. I thought you would be, but you’re not.

I think I’ll try again tomorrow.

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January 16, 2012


I put away the baby

This morning, I cleaned the kitchen and put away all of the baby things.

As I made lunch, I noticed the clean counters… No bottles, no bottle drying rack, no bottle brush, no formula. My baby has moved to sippy cups and whole milk.

As I sat down to eat, I noticed the extra room around the table… No high chair crammed between the table and the wall. My baby has moved to a booster strapped to a dining chair.

I guess you could say I put away away the baby

Then, I walked to his bedroom and noticed everything was the same. I’m not crazy, this little man will be sleeping in a crib until he starts climbing out.

So, goodbye baby Maddox. Hello ornery toddler Maddox.

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January 15, 2012


Why I edit pictures

I just finished 2 days worth of updates to my kids’ baby blogs. It was a my first blog-a-thon, if you will.

I started Maya’s blog when she was 5 months old. That was 3.5 years ago. That was the day I would become addicted to blogging. My first post was less than awesome, but really, it was just a baby book for Maya to have when she grew up… Or was it?

I just loved the awesomeness of it all. The blogging, that is. Upload picture. Done. Insert text. Done. It was so fast.

Or, was it?

I found myself editing every single picture I took. When Maya tried peas for the first time, I took 20 pictures. And, I needed to make sure I had the perfect picture for that one moment in her life, so I edited them all.

Now every time I tell Preston I’ll be updating the kids’ blogs, he says, “you know you don’t need to edit every single picture you take.”

But if I don’t, then Maddox could be getting a picture in his baby blog like this:

Instead of like this:

Clearly I need to be editing. As well as taking a gazillion pictures.

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January 14, 2012


I love the car doctor

It was shortly after 9:00 PM and Karla (my sister) and I were just leaving Bunco. I started my car and…  ”WHAT? Damn! My check engine light is on!”

Karla: Are you sure? I don’t think that’s your check engine light.

Me: Are you sure? What is it then?

Karla: I dunno, maybe your coolant. Let’s check your book.

Me: Alright, I’ll drive, you check.

Karla: Okay (while looking at the manual) it’s definitely not the battery, it doesn’t look like that picture. Nope, not the coolant either. Okay, it is the check engine light.

Me: Boom! I told you! Guess I may as well use that car tool thing I bought from BzzAgent.

After I finally got home, I pulled out the CarMD Diagnostic Scan tool.

I did get this thing for a super good deal through BzzAgent: the tool, an extension cord, the Premium web package and a cool case all for $56. But, I was actually kinda dreading it, I mean, it was already 9:30 PM, which is totally my bedtime!

I started with the quick guide… Dang, really? I have to get my VIN number and register my car first? I figured I may as well just do it right, so I dont’ have to do it the next time. I got my VIN, pulled up the CarMD site, and it was actually very fast. I typed in my name, zip code, VIN number and mileage of my car and voilá! There it was on my computer screen. My car. Sweet!

This tool also came with an installation CD so I could load the software onto my computer, which is a Mac, so two thumbs up there, too. That was a quick setup, so I was loving CarMD and BzzAgent, too, for the super sweet deal.

Next, I went out and plugged the scan tool into my car (I’m a pro at this, by the way, my dad has a scan tool, it’s an older one though, so once you get the code, you thumb through a large manual to find what the code means) and it had my code in seconds.

I walk by Preston and tell him how fast and easy this is going, then plug the scan tool into my computer. It launches the website, and… “We’re sorry we’re experiencing technical difficulties. We hope to have the page up shortly.”

ARE YOU KIDDING!?! Now I wish I had the damn printed manual like my dad! I just want to know what code P0303 means?!?

I tried it 5 times. Same dumb message. CarMD, I hate you. I was mad and just wanted to figure out the code, so I googled it. Turns out it was a misfire on cylinder 3. Which has happened on another car of mine so I knew that it wasn’t serious, at least not yet.

I thought just for kicks I’d try the website one more time before I put the tool away, and it worked. And, it was awesome. I was impressed.

CarMD also informed me if check engine light comes on and is flashing that’s bad. Like real, real bad. You need to stop driving your car because you could damage the engine. Yikes! Thank you CarMD! I give your product a double high five!

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January 12, 2012


A Candyland Birthday Party

I love parties, but I’ll say I’m a bit relieved to have the Maya and Maddox’s joint birthday party over. Once I start going, I can’t stop. Yesterday was a busy day, I don’t think I sat down from 6:00 AM-8:00 PM. I’m still tired, but, it was all worth it!

I decided to have a Candyland-themed party for Maya’s 4th birthday and Maddox’s 1st birthday. It was a hit and so much fun too!

My mom found the Happy Birthday banner months ago, who knew it would fit so perfectly into our theme.

Buckets filled with candy. What kid doesn’t love that?

Cupcakes topped with sprinkles and gigantic gumdrops. Then finished off with personalized lollipops.

More buckets of candy.

A close-up of the cupcakes.

The candy table.

And, then, the cakes! How cute are these?!? My sister made them! Thanks, Karla, you’re awesome.

I made a few miniature cupcakes, as well.

Our family.

The kids.

Maddox is done with pictures.

Well, maybe not if you stick a cake in front of him. (:

It took a while, but he finally got to some cake. I love smash cakes.

Maya wanted to eat her whole cake too. She said she’d use a fork.

Then we opened lots of presents. These kids are pretty spoiled!

Maddox finally figured out how to rip the paper.

Maya couldn’t rip her paper open fast enough. (;

It was a fun party, filled with everything little kids could dream of… Candy, cupcakes and, most importantly, family.

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January 8, 2012


Diners, Drive-ins and a maid

I had every intention NOT to post tonight.

I have a joint birthday party to get ready for. We’re celebrating Maddox’s first birthday (January 4) and Maya’s fourth birthday (January 14) tomorrow! The house is a mess, the cupcakes aren’t frosted, not quite sure what snacks I’ll be serving, and, yet I’m blogging.

And, not only am I blogging, I’m watching Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. I haven’t watched TV in over a week…

Man, I love this show. Why does everything look so good on there? And how isn’t the host 300 lbs.

Alright, I’m stalling. I hate cleaning. It’s the worst part of parties. But, at least I have the presents wrapped.

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January 6, 2012


Lazy mom = unsafe child

So, I’m sitting at work and all of a sudden I thought, “crap, did I unplug my hair straightener?” It’s kinda rare that I do much to my hair in the mornings anyway, but I just got it cut and, well, it’s fun to fix it again.

I decided I better take a lunch and check it out… I needed to stop by Target anyway.

So, I stopped at Target first. What? It was on my way home and what’s 10 more minutes? If I did indeed leave the straightener on, it would have been on for 4 hours already.

As I pulled into the Target parking lot, I watched a Mom and a little boy (he was probably 2, maybe 3, he was pretty little) walking to their car. Their car happened to be diagonal from mine.

When I looked back at their car I can see the little boy’s feet from under the opened door, but, wait, where’s the mom? What?! Why is she on the other side of the car? Maybe she forgot something… No wait, she’s IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT?!?

What if a car pulls up next to her car and hits him? What if he falls back out and hits his head? I’m a worrier.

Finally he climbs into the SUV, it wasn’t one of the really, big tall ones, but it was an SUV, nonetheless. I keep thinking, okay, she’ll get back out, buckle him in and close his door.

Nope.

I see him reach all the way forward and pull the door closed. Holy hell, I’m not even certain how he did that without falling out. Obviously, this isn’t his first rodeo.

Then wanna know what happened?

Right after the door closed, I mean RIGHT AFTER, she pulls off. He’s all bumping around in the seat. Not buckled in, because I saw him climb up in there and close the door. I’m sure my mouth was wide opened.

Are you kidding me lady? I almost started my car and followed her so I could get her tag number and turn her in.

I could care less if you don’t buckle yourself in, that’s your stupid mistake, you’re an adult! But your child? One person slams on their brakes, you hit them from behind and he’s gone. Right through the window.

Maybe I watch too much TV, or maybe I heard too many stories from police officers… I worked next door to a police station for 5 years. (FYI, don’t leave your sun visor halfway down in your car while you’re driving… if the sun is in your eyes, put the visor all the way down toward the windshield, if you don’t want to use it anymore, put it all the way back up against the roof in the closed position. Wanna know why? Ask me on the comments, it’s not pretty.)

Anyway, since I have two kids now, I make Maya climb into her seat, while I’m standing there, and then I close the door behind her. Then, I walk around to the other side of the car, buckle Maddox in, making sure the straps are below his shoulders and the middle harness is tightly secured (with no give in the belt) at armpit level.

Then, I walk around to the other side of the car, help Maya finish buckling herself in. I check to make sure the straps are above her shoulders, middle harness is tightly secured (with no give in the belt) at armpit level. Then, I close her door.

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This may take me an extra 5 minutes for me to buckle them, but it’s 5 minutes well worth it.

Don’t be too lazy, it’s your child’s safety at stake!

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