I’m a sucker for 4-ingredient foods. And who doesn’t like ice cream? No body, that’s who. No body doesn’t like ice cream! Mmmm.

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So when I found this recipe for 4-ingredient ice cream on Pinterest, I pinned it. Then I forgot about it, until one of my friends on Facebook actually made it. So, I did what any person would do, I found that recipe and I made it too. I had to change the recipe a bit because Aldi didn’t have cheesecake pudding. They had vanilla.

Sometimes the actual time to make is more than recipes claim, but the Seeded at the Table lady wasn’t wrong, I’ll say it really did take around 5 minutes to make. But, it was five looooong minutes spent whipping the heavy cream into stiff peaks with a hand mixer, but I feel like it was well worth it. I spent $1.79 on a pint of cream, $1.79 on a package of generic oreos (and we only used half of the cookies for the ice cream, then my husband promptly ate the rest while the ice cream was freezing), $0.79 on vanilla instant pudding and $0.99 on sweetened condensed milk. And this makes 1.5 quarts of ice cream for only $5.40. It’s a win I tell ya.

Mmmm.

Oreo Ice Cream
3.4 oz – Instant Pudding
14 oz – Sweetened Condensed Milk
2 cups – Heavy Whipping Cream
1/2 pkg – Oreos (or generics, whatev’)

In a large bowl mix sweetened condensed milk and pudding until pudding is dissolved. In another large bowl pour cream and beat on high speed for 5 minutes, or until stiff peaks form. Carefully fold cream into sweetened condensed pudding mix until fully incorporated. Crush oreos (I used a ziplock bag and crushed with my hands) then slowly stir cookies into cream/pudding mix. Pour into a 2 quart bowl, cover with a lid and freeze for 4 hours.

 

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So, my sister made these awesome cookie brownies. She’s a baker. A very good baker. Then she graciously handed me the rest of the pan for a food day at my work. Here’s what happened.

Coworker: Those are so good! Will you give me the recipe?
Me: Umm, yeah, I didn’t make those. I’ll email my sister for the recipe. (;

Then this happened:

Cookie Brownie Recipe

CookieBrownie

“Maya what should we have for dinner?”

“MACARONI!”

“Ohh, perfect! I’ll just try this recipe I found on Pinterest. It looks super easy.”

Pour 2 cups of milk and 2 cups of pasta in a pan and simmer until noodles are done. Then add 2 cups of shredded cheese. I got this.

Well, that is until I decided to add shredded mozzarella. Apparently that’s one cheese out of the “Use different types of cheeses” you can not actually use.

“Oh geez, I think this is too much cheese.” I sighed as my hand could barely turn the spoon. It was a stringy, cheesy mess. “Are you kidding me? How could I mess this up?”

I put a scoop on everyone’s plate and we all sat down at the table.

“Well, it looks good,” Preston said reassuringly. Then he tried it, “it’s not bad. I don’t think it’s gross.”

I kept trying to take small bites, but once the stringy cheese pile of noodles cooled, it turned into a huge clump of cold mozzarella noodle. “Oh man, you know what this tastes like!? A mozzarella stick! I’m totally done with this.”

Preston laughed and agreed, “It really does. Why don’t you just throw this in the fridge and I can eat it as a snack later, instead of the cheese sticks.”

Way to stay positive Preston.

I was impressed with Maya. She continued to eat the noodles, even after her initial, “this doesn’t really taste like macaroni, Mommy.”

Maddox, however, gave it one tiny poke with his fork and when all of the noodles stayed in a clump in a pile on his plate, he gave up. At least he ate his chicken and followed up with a nice, “Thank you for dinner, Mommy.”

I threw the rest of the mozzarella macaroni down the drain and finished the dishes, defeated.

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Today, I was totally over the embarrassment of ruining a simple 3 ingredient macaroni. So, I’m all, “You guys would not believe what I messed up on Pinterest last night.” Through tears of laughter, I re-told my story to my friends at work (who can indeed cook). I know I can always count on a good laugh and reassuring word from those two, “Maybe you were on to something, roll those suckers in to little macaroni balls and throw ’em in the fridge!”

“AND FRY THEM!” I added. “How good would that be!?”

Fried Mozzarella Macaroni Balls. Genius. Lesson learned, when a recipe fails, next time try frying it.

My kids helped me mix up my favorite cookies before dinner. They licked the beaters while I scooped the dough onto the pans and baked them. They smelled awesome. After the kids went to bed, I ran five miles. I got home and didn’t eat a single one of these cookies. Not even one.

Did I mention these are my favorite cookie of all time. Ever.MONSTER_COOKIES

I deserve some kind of award.

PS, I hate training for a marathon.

PPS, these are my all-time favoritest cookie. Ever. Ever. Ever.

PPPS, I don’t think I really, really hate training for a marathon. I’ll just save a cookie for Saturday, after I run 18 miles.

Most of the time dinner is rushed at my house. Apparently I’m not much of a pre-planner. I’ve always wanted to be that mom that has dinner in the crockpot when I leave the house in the morning. I’ve probably only done that once. Ever. And it didn’t turn out very good.

So, I stick to the holy-cow-it’s-dinnertime-and-I-don’t-know-what-we’re-eating dinners. That means quick.

For these mini corndog muffins all you need are seven ingredients Jiffy Corn Muffin mix, eggs, milk, water, canned creamed corn, shredded cheese and hotdogs.

I mix the Jiffy mix up with the eggs, milk and water, as directed on the package. Then stir in 1/2 can of creamed corn and 1/2 cup shredded cheese.

Next, I spray my mini muffin tin and start scooping mix into tins. It filled up 36 muffins. Then I sliced a six hotdogs into six pieces and pressed each into the center of a corn muffin-filled tin.

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I baked them until they were done. Honestly, I don’t know how long. They had started to puff up and were getting golden so I tested them and they were done. 15 minutes, maybe.

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While the kids were eating their muffins I made a plate for myself. Haha.

corndog-muffins

Maybe next time the kids will get their mini corndog muffins shaped like a little kid. Enjoy!

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It’s summertime and watermelons aren’t gonna cut themselves. Luckily, I’ve found the best way to cut a watermelon. So, let’s get started.

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Lay that roll-y devil on it’s side and slice both ends off with a large knife. This could be dangerous. No one died cutting a watermelon, though, so you’ll be fine.

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Sit that bad boy up on one of the cut off ends. A super sturdy watermelon, just waiting to reconnect with the knife.

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Start by slicing down the side. I tried to take a picture and slice at the same time. I almost lost a finger. I like my fingers.

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Your knife should become one with the watermelon. I’ve never felt safer cutting a watermelon.

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It’s looking pretty good, but not good enough. Continue on, friends.

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Carefully slice off the white pieces. No one likes bitter watermelon.

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Now comes the fun part. Slice right down the center of the watermelon.

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This is when the messy part starts. After it’s completely in half, cut a section as big as you want to work with.

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Then slice into squares. Continue with remainder of watermelon.

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I never said this wasn’t messy. I just said it was the best way. It’s fine. It’s just a few paper towels.

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How’s that for a nice big bowl of juicy watermelon. You’re welcome. (;

The kids were telling me about the awesome “breakfast bites” they had at daycare this morning. Maya described it as some sort of sausage inside of a pancake. It was bite-sized. It was delicious. “And when you dipped it in syrup, it was awwwwwesome! ”

Sold. You had me at pancake. I knew I wouldn’t be able to duplicate it, but I thought I’d take a good ol’ Blendra stab at it.

Welcome the Sausage and Egg Panwich. As in a pancake sandwich. Duh.

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It was de. lish. us. And easy. So easy. Five ingredients (and that’s counting water).

INGREDIENTS:

Pancake mix, water, pre-cooked sausage, eggs and syrup.

DIRECTIONS:

While sandwich maker is pre-heating, stir together pancake mix and water, per directions on box. Heat sausage in microwave and scramble eggs. Spoon pancake batter into bottom of sandwich maker and press in chopped sausage and eggs. Top with more pancake batter. Close sandwich maker and bake until done. Duh. Enjoy with syrup.

See photo below for what a sandwich maker looks like, if you’ve never seen one. They are pretty stinkin’ awesome. Here’s the one I have.

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Who says dinner has to be healthy every night? We had a protein (egg), a carb (pancake) and a perfectly healthy dose of fat (sausage) and sugar (syrup). Besides, they had vegetables for lunch.

The end.

So, it’s Preston’s birthday in 2 days and I always make him the same dessert. It’s this strawberry pretzel dessert. It has things like jello, pretzels and cream cheese. Weird, huh?

Honestly, I don’t even like the stuff, but he says it’s the reason he married me. So, every year, I make it.

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But, with two kids and a full time job, it gets harder and harder to surprise him with it. Don’t worry though, Maddox woke up last night throwing up. It was awesome. I’m all, “Well played, kid. Now I can stay home and make this dessert for your dad.”

And, I did.

With one sick little boy hanging onto my leg, begging to be held. And another, little girl, yelling from the kitchen table, “how do you spell happy birthday daddy?” Over. And. Over.

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Really, though, we all know you don’t actually marry someone for food. You marry them because they’re awesome and make your favorite dessert for your birthday, year after year after year, even when they don’t even like it.

Want the recipe? Yeah, I don’t blame you. But, really, everyone that eats it says how awesome it is. You really should give it a try.

Strawberry_Pretzel_Dessert

So, I’ve decided I’m the “annoying girl at work who fills the whole shelf of the community fridge with her food.” Hey, I can’t help it. No one ever said eating healthy is easy, some days you have to be annoying.

I find it easier to bring enough food on Monday for the entire work week. Less work for me equals less room in the fridge for everyone else. Sorry for your loss.

Annnnyway, today’s lunch was pretty amazing. A chicken raspberry wrap with only 165 calories.

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That’s only half of it too. I gobbled (that would have been funnier had this been turkey meat) up the first half of it and then decided I better snap a photo (a terrible one, at that). Because, this lunch was definitely Blendra-worthy.

Chicken Raspberry Wrap

4 slices Great Value Deli-Sliced Rotisserie Seasoned Chicken – 50 calories
1  Mama Lupe Low Carb Tortilla (my favorite) – 60 calories
1  TBSP Brand’s Fine Foods Raspberry Pepper Jelly – 40 calories
1 leaf romain lettuce – 1 calorie
1 slice (length-wise) of cucumber – 5 calories (maybe less, depending on thickness)
3 slices tomato – 9 calories (maybe less depending on thickness)

Mmmm. You’re welcome.

I made this for lunch today:

salad

While I was in the kitchen:

Guy at work: Are you gonna eat all of that?
Me: You betcha! It’s less than 200 calories! I’ll show you my empty bowl when I’m done.

So, here’s the deal, I’ve been counting calories lately. It sucks. I mean, really, it’s a good thing because it makes me aware of what I’m eating and how much I’m eating. Blah, blah. Boring. It sucks.

But, I’m doing it anyway. And I thought you’d like to do it with me. I mean, you don’t have to figure out any of the calories for this salad because I’ve done it for you. It’s huge. But, best of all, it tastes freaking amazing.

Turkey Buffalo Ranch Salad

2 cups romain lettuce, chopped – 16 calories
1/2 cup cucumbers, chopped – 8 calories
1/2 beefsteak tomato (you know, the normal tomatoes), chopped – 14 calories
1 medium hardboiled egg, chopped – 60 calories
4 slices 98% fat free turkey lunch meat (I used Great Value) – 50 calories
Dressing
1 tbsp Frank’s buffalo sauce – 0 calories

1 tbsp homemade ranch (here’s my recipe) – 45 calories

Total calorie count: 193 calories

Obviously, it’s a salad, so just add everything to a bowl and mix it up.