A guilty change
I held back the tears as I picked up the kids from daycare on Friday. I’m not sure why this was so hard. Okay, wait, yes I do know. My kids have been going to this same daycare since they were babies! Maya was just shy of five months old and Maddox was just shy of three months old, when they each started at this daycare.
I can still remember Maya’s first day, perfectly. As I walked out the front door, I sobbed. The crying lasted for a whole week. The guilt lasted a lot longer.
I felt guilty leaving her. I felt guilty going to work. I felt guilty when I missed a milestone. I just felt guilty.
It was hard to bury that guilt.
Then, three years later, it was time to drop Maddox off for his first day of daycare. I hardly remember his first day. Because I didn’t cry. I didn’t feel (as) guilty. And Maya was there.
I trusted the ladies to watch my kids. They loved them.
So, as I pushed open that glass door of the daycare, Friday, I felt sad.
Haha, the kids don’t look too torn up about it. Kids this young don’t really understand change. They got treats and presents and lots of “I’ll miss you”s. Sounds kind of fantastic as a kid.
Friday was their last day at this daycare. And, in two short days (technically it’s only one), they’ll start a new daycare. Change is good. Everyone says it is. This will be a good thing. I’ll just keep telling myself that.
I think it’ll be a good transition for Maya since she’ll be starting kindergarten in a month. And, I think Maddox will enjoy the smaller classrooms for three more years, until he starts kindergarten.
But, that same feeling is coming back. I can feel it creeping in.
Yep, there it is. Guilt.