We have lots of food days at my work. It’s someone’s birthday, we better bring food. If it’s national pickle day, we better bring food (and someone better bring the pickles). If someone new is starting in the department, we better bring food.
And, I usually get suckered into sending the email. You know, the one asking people to bring food. I kinda hate doing that. So, I thought, surely (that’s for you Chris), this email (see below) would get me out of sending food-related emails to the department…
Tomorrow is Brian’s first day as an official employee. Please bring food.
PS, the food you bring will be a true reflection of you. It also shows you like Brian. If you like Brian, bring food. If you don’t want us to talk badly about you not bringing food, bring food. If you don’t want me to send you these annoying emails any more because they make you feel bad about yourself, bring food.
Example: I’m bringing ham, pickle and cream cheese rollups; therefore, I’m a salt-lovin’ gal. And, I like Brian. And, I don’t want you to talk badly about me. And, I hate sending these emails.
I was wrong. Apparently, it was “the best food email ever” and “so good I was still thinking about it when I went home.” Damn.
However, it may have been the best food day ever. I think everyone brought food. Even me.