Fear is stupid
Today was Maya’s first day of Kindergarten.
She’s been talking about this day for weeks. A new school. A new teacher. New friends. Gym class! I’m not exactly sure what she thought gym class was, but that was not my favorite part of school. (;
When we finally made it to school, she hung her backpack on the hook below her name and picked a table to sit at. Her teacher handed her a nametag and she sat down. We were the first ones there.
I watched as three more kids walked in and they each picked the other table to sit at. Then Preston said it was time to go. I started walking out, then I looked at Maya at a table all by herself and said, “Maya, would you like to go sit at the table with the other kids?”
“No, Mommy, this table is fine,” she said as she looked up at me. I smiled at her and said, “okay.” Preston quickly added, “I love you! Have a good first day!”
Just before I turned to walk away the teacher smiled and said, “I think we’ll all combine to one table today, since it’s such a small class.”
I felt relieved.
As soon as we stepped out of the school, I looked over and Preston and said, “I just don’t want her to think no one likes her.” He looked at me, reassuring, and said, “it’s because we were there. No kid wants to sit at a table with strangers”
I wasn’t sure.
And, at that moment, I realized I had the same fear for Maya as I once had for myself. It took years for me to realize that people actually did like me. I will not let my own fear as a child turn into a fear my daughter has as a child.
I agree with Marilyn Monroe, “Fear is stupid. So are regrets”