[Brackets are serious business this time of year.] See how I did that. I just bracketed that whole first statement and it became more serious.
But, seriously, you know what I’m talking about when I say [brackets]. March Madness!
Since today is [Wins]day, I’m gonna let you in on a little Blendra Bracketology. I’ve won against some legit people when picking my teams, so stick with me here.
Here’s how I do it and probably how you should do it too.
Step 1: Get your bracket, but don’t look at it yet.
Step 2: Get a pen (no pencil, that’s cheating, we don’t change our minds once we’ve picked)
Step 3: Start at the top left and begin picking teams.
Step 3-1: It’s perfectly reasonable to pick a team by name alone. Like, Saint Louis. I’m gonna pick them because I’m Catholic and I like saints.
Step 3-2: You must always pick weird upsets randomly. A 12 team will beat a 5 team. It’s a rule. It almost always happens. Don’t look it up, just trust me. Akron will beat the heck out of Virginia Commonwealth. At least in my bracket.
Step 3-3: This should take 5 minutes, 6 minutes tops. No googling allowed. Stats don’t mean nothin’ during the NCAA tournament.
Step 4: Don’t get mad at me when you don’t win. I can’t help it if you’re unlucky.
Step 5: This is just a game, you don’t always have to win.
Step 6: If you do always have to win, maybe you should go see someone about that.
Here’s my bracket (click image to make larger):